Predictability for Mr Big at the end of Carrie Bradshaw’s blog on Sex in the City came after many failed attempts … however, she did eventually find her Prince charming …. Disney predicted one prince meets one princess .. the end!
Disney expected us to kiss one frog, from the first pond and find the Prince the first time round …
Ummmmm… due to social construct this may not be possible! We love to love our dreams (like Disney) and we do not want to accept the reality … that we choose the natural and obvious choice that suits us, usually from the pond that we are in … plus one that is socially acceptable to our friends and family!
So accepting that we go along with the ‘Beckhams’ style cereal packet nuclear family …. We all know that this is not the ‘norm’ today we now hold on to our desires … our desire such as the dirty dancing love affair which becomes more socially acceptable as more people become cougar’s or manther’s …. Seeking the destiny to become connected with similar people.
With social constructs breaking down through social media and our ability to change our profile pictures to project a more youthful appearance and a more publicly acceptable status of how we want other people to perceive ourselves …
Kuss and Griffiths (2011) and Ryan, Chester, Reece, Xenos (2014) correlated that relationship maintenance is the key to identifying that a social network addiction like facebook is the key. Is your social contrsuct now to be built upon that? Highly likely! Most relationships are prone to failure due to the unrealistic ideas we have of what love is and what we expect ….
Have you experienced a realationship breakdown through your unrealistic expectations?
Psychologically speaking …. Or should this be statistically speaking the odds are NOT against us ….
There are so many different models for how we meet or fall in love and the theories are endless!
As our previous blog on this crazy subject of singledom the evolutionary gap has not changed much. Both men and women apply different strategies when selecting their partners however, it is still highly biased in some areas.
According to Buss (1989) women value resource based characteristics upon selection whilst men prefer the attraction of a women and her youth!
The ‘Matching Hypothesis Theory’ developed by Walster et.al, 1966, stated that relationships which have the most attractive partners also evaluate on similarity.
Not everyone can afford to match their criteria of attractiveness and need to evaluate their own personal attractivess could it be that we may be just need to search around in our own pond… will this really get us what we want?
The one thing we cannot underestimate is the value of ‘self-worth’ yes a notion that most Disney Princess did not question and merrily lived happily ever after. Why not try to see where you are personally …. You may need to look at yourself and love yourself before falling for another and asking them to make you happy! http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/quizzes/selfesteem
What is your outcome on this? Have you been surprised by yout results? If tou consider yourself to have low self esteem then work on yourself before meeting someone else …
Why not become your own modern day Disney Princess and step out the so called ‘norm’?
Departing from the ‘norm’ means you meet the abnormal …. this could mean that the relationship becomes ‘maladaptive’ you begin to cause distress or socially start to disregard the other person. Freud noted that we are ‘normal on the average’ the ego says different .. we can be normal in one part of our lives but different in other just like the fairy tale bliss we so seek.
According to Elizabeth Brake (2012) a renound philosopher at Arizona State Un iversity states that ‘Amatonormativty’ it is normal for society to have a relationship. That this is universal. All humans want and aspire to love as depicted by Disney and Carrie Bradshaw almost gave up! Society is expecting us to have this magical partner and everlasting love.
If you just go with the flow you may continue to be in the wrong relationship and lacking in your own self worth and into a spiral of negativity.
Anything other than this is to be considered abnormal!!!
Life long monogamy does not suit everyone and maybe some people just prefer many rather than one. Could this concept be used to explain why some choose to go from one partner to the next with no break inbetween?
Take for instance, Carrie Jenkins an interdisciplinary philosospher was happy to be on her own however, the problem being she fell in love with two people. She married and still continued to have a boyfriend (https://www.carriejenkins.net/).
This may not be the norm for society however, she considers this to be perfectly normal. She has the biological machine in her husband and has romantic love for both partners simultaneousley. Maybe Carrie Jenkins has found her Beast and Gaston in 2 rather than trying to find it in 1 partner.
Socially we are now more accepting of the abnormal ….. the major drawback here is that people often consider other peoples opinions before their own. The social media networks are now breaking down all social consructs. Open relationships are becoming popular. Some partners are now justifying the fact that they are working late and may be secretly desiring someone else.
So there we have it another debate.. monogamy vs polymonogamy (more than 1 partner)
Does that mean polymonogamy could now be the future of successful relationships?
Would you consider more than 1 partner to satisfy your criteria and make you find your own Disney bliss?
With so many different aspects to consider … what is your choice …
Disney Princess or Snow White? Even snow white had 7 admirers all needing her attention!
Pschologically speaking there is no easy road but it appears everyone can find their prince charming or their goddess of love…. Or maybe just be single and enjoy yourself and aspire to being the best you!